Something I don’t understand is why my friends stand by me. There are a couple people (and you know who you are) who have stood by me through thick and thin. Two, who despite a 6 hour time difference and it being the middle of the night for them, stayed up with me and listened to me cry into my microphone on a Skype voice chat.
In my mind, I’m a worthless piece of crap, lower than the junk floating along in a sewer. So it boggles my mind that someone would want to be my friend. Forget be my friend, even be associated with me. The way I think, I feel that they would have been better off never knowing me.
As hard as I try to push some of them away, they keep coming back. That’s another thing I guess I don’t understand. Nothing I do makes their lives easy. In reality it makes things more dificult for them. But they won’t walk away. They hang in there with me. They try to support me no matter how difficult I make things for them.
I just don’t understand…