I did indeed survive the intake interview at that agency. I have another appointment next week, same time, same place. I can’t say I’m not anxious about it, because I am. Will my level of anxiety be quite as high… I don’t know.
I know when I came home, my thinking was all over the map, including the thoughts of suicide. I’m fairly certain that I won’t carry through on the thoughts, but they are still there in the front of my mind. I guess what I find frustrating is that those thoughts will be quiet for a day or so and then they’ll start up again in full force. The same is true for the self-injury urges.
So, on another topic, things were a bit hectic last night when I got home from class. I pulled in the driveway and my brother met me to tell me my grandmother’s blood sugar was well over 400.
OK. So our neighbor is over as well. And of course for whatever reason grandma doesn’t have any regular insulin prescribed that she can take when sugar shoot up into the stratosphere. You can be certain that I’ll be having the doctor do that for her just as soon as I can get her in for an appointment.
So I get in the house and recheck her sugar. It’s coming down because our neighbor had her walking around the house and drinking water. I decided to give her some protein to eat so that as her sugar does fall, it doesn’t bottom out. Great idea… wrong.
We check it an hour later and it’s back up over where it started.
I get on the phone to the advice nurse from Kaiser and talk to her. She pages the doctor who has grandma take some of her usual insulin (thank goodness… a trip to the ER was the last thing in the world any of us wanted to do, especially grandma).
Rechecked her sugar a couple hours later and it was going down, but not as low as the doctor had hoped. So got back on the phone with said advice nurse who paged the doctor again. Thankfully he just said let grandma go to bed and recheck in the morning.
I finally got grandma in bed around 1 am. I fell asleep around 4:30. Phone rang at 7:00. My heart rate and blood pressure must have shot through the roof. It was the advice nurse (again) who wanted to let me know to call and let them know what the blood sugar was when grandma got up because they send copies of all this communication to grandma’s doctor to follow up on. And they had to call at 7 am because???? So, it’s now 1 pm and I’ve been awake since 7 am.
The part that bugs me the most is that I was actually sleeping when the phone rang. For the first night in ages I was nightmare free. So I sit here, sort of multitasking. I’ve been going through my BOINC logs looking for something specific that I can’t seem to find for the life of me. And I’m working on rewriting my resume so I can email it to the people doing our resume workshop tomorrow. I don’t even want to talk about how horrible my resume is… And I’m trying to support an online friend who’s having a hard time right now. I need about 3 more sets of hands and 4 more brains….