Tired and Frustrated

Warning! Large amounts of whining below…

I haven’t talked about it much, but I live with my grandmother who has dementia and I serve as her primary caretaker.

We got into a fight this afternoon. I asked her before I went out to lunch what she’d like for dinner. I was trying to be helpful by cooking again. I haven’t been home in the evenings for the last five weeks, so her and my brother (who lives with us while doing an internship for school) have been fending for themselves for dinner.

I gave her about four different options and she didn’t want any of them. I told her fine and went to lunch. I’m tired of arguing with her over stuff like this.

I came home from lunch and asked her again what she wanted for dinner. She didn’t answer me, so I decided that she could have the leftover baked chicken, potatoes, and green beans that were already in the refrigerator.

I came downstairs at 5:00 to make sure she took her insulin and heated up her dinner. She promptly told me she didn’t want it and wouldn’t eat it. I put it in front of her and told her it was her choice if she wanted to eat or not. I can’t force her.

Well she just called me downstairs because her blood sugar had dropped to 50. I gave her some Coke and some bread with peanut butter and sent her to bed when her sugar was back up in the normal range.

I don’t know what to do anymore. It seems like the harder I try to please her, the less happy she is. I realize her illness is progressing, so I try to cut her some slack. But I can only do so much. I’m trying to take care of myself and distance myself from her when I get frustrated. I don’t know how to make her happy.

And I promise I’ll try to post something more positive later today.

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