I’m really sick again. The renovations at the school are seriously screwing with my lungs.
I went back to the doctors yesterday. Chest film and everything. Non-spehific changes is what he told me yesterday. I don’t know what that meant. The doctor didn’t speak enough English for me to find out. Stuck an IV in with steroids and antibiotics. Then he sent me home with a script for more of the same. Higher dosage of steroids than last time.
Went back again today with one of the Korean teachers to translate. I have to go to a bigger hospital tomorrow. Doctor at the small local one is concerned that I may have pneumonia. Great. Just freaking great.
My stomach hurts. My head hurts. I’m coughing up both lungs. My anxiety level is through the roof. My moods are shifting faster than I know what to do. I’m bouncing between depression, anxiety, si thoughts and suicidal thoughts. I know its the steroids. They do this to me all the time at high doses. But I know I’ll end up in the hospital without them. It’s all I can do to breathe right now.
The anxiety is horrible. I can’t even fall back on my breathing exercises because I can’t get a deep breath from being sick.
This is making no sense right now. I should probably not post it.
I’m so hot. I hate these stupid side effects. You’d think having the a/c set on 18C would be sufficient. I’d go stand under a cold shower, but the thought of getting in the shower right now is just too much to handle.
Can’t go for a walk. It’s the middle of the night. There’s no place to go in the apartment. It’s one room.
I HATE THIS! I HATE THIS! I HATE THIS!
The Ativan I took isn’t helping. I’m just feeling loopy from that combined with the codeine in the cough medicine. Probably not the best of ideas to take them together. I didn’t think. Not enough to do any harm. Just enough to make me loopy.