Jigsaw Analogy recently wrote an entry on “the pity party” some abuse survivors have. I’ll first say that I totally agree with everything written in that entry. However, it made me think.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m living in the past too much. I wonder if I’m letting my fears limit me. I wonder if I’m running away.
On the surface, it looks like I’m functioning well. I’m working. I’m paying my bills. I’m living independently. I have friends. But deep down inside, I’m still the scared, insecure little girl I was 20 years ago.
Have I gotten too complacent and lazy? Am I too afraid to tackle those remaining issues? I have that book my last therapist copied, but I’ve yet to open it. What is holding me back? Am I having my own version of a pity party?
Funny thing, about 10 days ago, I thought I was making progress. But now it seems like what I was thinking is even more of a pity party. I’ve yet to post it, but it’s about asking “Why?”.
Thoughts? Comments? Feedback? Swift kick in the ass?