Haphephobia? Seriously, there has to be a technical name for just about every phobia out there.
I’m sure I’ve written about this before. It’s something that I’m constantly working on. I think I might be able to downgrade from phobia to plain old fear. I certainly don’t like being touched, especially if I don’t know it’s coming.
Sometimes it’s hard to see progress. You get caught up in the day to day trials and tribulations of dealing with depression, anxiety and PTSD. It takes a conscious effort to step back and say “Yeah, I am making progress”. I guess it’s sort of like counting your blessings. The world seems horrible sometimes, but when you take the time to actually look, there are a lot of really great things going happening.
It’s been a slow shift in my fear of touch. Getting my hair cut used to require rather large doses of anti-anxiety meds. I realized the other day that I went, had my hair washed and cut, all without crippling anxiety. It helped to have a friend for moral support. Actually I was her moral support too. She was getting a way different hair cut and was freaked out about it.
I don’t mind touch so much when it’s coming from my students. There are days when it drives me bat shit insane though, especially when it’s hot outside. I have one particularly affectionate student and there are days I have to pull her off of me. I really love K. I’ve been her teacher since starting at this school over a year ago. But really, it’s 90 degrees outside (and the owner is being a prick about having the A/C on).
I’ve found more inspiration in comic strips lately. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m just weird. OK, I’m definitely weird. Wanna make something of it??? :-)