Fear of Touch

Fear of Touch

Haphephobia? Seriously, there has to be a technical name for just about every phobia out there.

I’m sure I’ve written about this before. It’s something that I’m constantly working on. I think I might be able to downgrade from phobia to plain old fear. I certainly don’t like being touched, especially if I don’t know it’s coming.

Sometimes it’s hard to see progress. You get caught up in the day to day trials and tribulations of dealing with depression, anxiety and PTSD. It takes a conscious effort to step back and say “Yeah, I am making progress”. I guess it’s sort of like counting your blessings. The world seems horrible sometimes, but when you take the time to actually look, there are a lot of really great things going happening.

It’s been a slow shift in my fear of touch. Getting my hair cut used to require rather large doses of anti-anxiety meds. I realized the other day that I went, had my hair washed and cut, all without crippling anxiety. It helped to have a friend for moral support. Actually I was her moral support too. She was getting a way different hair cut and was freaked out about it.

I don’t mind touch so much when it’s coming from my students.  There are days when it drives me bat shit insane though, especially when it’s hot outside.  I have one particularly affectionate student and there are days I have to pull her off of me.  I really love K.  I’ve been her teacher since starting at this school over a year ago.  But really, it’s 90 degrees outside (and the owner is being a prick about having the A/C on).

I’ve found more inspiration in comic strips lately.  I don’t know why.  Maybe I’m just weird.  OK, I’m definitely weird.  Wanna make something of it???  :-)

4 thoughts on “Fear of Touch

  1. Comics are awesome. One of my favorite Peanuts strips has Marcie and Peppermint Patty under a tree, and Marcie is going on and on about the differences between horses and mules, and Peppermint Patty says “It’s not always necessary to make conversation.”

  2. LOL. Thanks for the laugh JA. That’s cute.

    Marcy, I wish I could find that comic and put it up over my desk at work. Sometimes working in a tiny office with 8 other people (and all the Korean teachers that come through to use the copier and laminater) gets to me.

  3. Charting progress is good because it lets us know we are not standing still in our healing process. The intensity of PTSD changes when we make an effort to change the triggers. We can’t do it alone though, we have to have some help and be given tips on how to change it. PTSD doesn’t go away on it’s own, it takes work and in my opinion it takes recognizing successes and small changes to affectively move from crippled to burdened.

    Good for you! Bad for Snoopy.
    I love Snoopy.

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