So… I bought some poster paints at the store today. I was intending to finger paint with them. But I figured why I was getting art supplies, I should get some brushes. I bought some flat ones and some pointy ones. Can you tell I’m not an artist?
I taped my paper up on my wardrobe. I don’t really have any better place to do it. And I figured the paint would come off of there more easily than the wall paper if I missed the paper (which I only did once). I pulled out the flat brashes and the paint. And I attacked the paper. No, I literally attacked the first piece of paper. It was some sort of anger I was getting out. I pretty much covered the paper in reds and oranges. It was crazy. Then I balled it up and threw it in the trash. That alone was therapeutic.
But there was so many other things under the surface. I don’t even know where the anger came from tonight. It just boiled over. Better to slap paint on paper than to take it out on myself, which has been on my mind lately. I just picked the paints that spoke to me. Yeah, that sounds stupid, but that’s what it felt like. Everything was sort of swirling around. As the emotions came and went, I just made different shapes. Gah! I don’t really know how to explain it. I have no words to explain how I’m feeling right now. And because the painting is reflecting those feelings, I really don’t have the words to describe the painting.
I titled the piece “Running from Emotions” because it occurred to me as I was resizing the picture (no need to upload a 4000×3000 image here) the orange blob in the lower right looks like a person running away from everything else in the painting. That must be the whole sub-conscious thing at work again. The other thing I noticed is how small the “person” is as compared to the rest of the painting.
Overall, for my first (okay, second) try at painting with a brush, it doesn’t look too bad. I’ve seen stranger things in art museums. In a strange way, I like it. I’m looking forward to playing a bit more. I bought white paper (which is gray on the flip side) and black paper. I really want to play with the black paper. Maybe it’s the whole black equals night thing in my mind. I don’t know.