I had horrible nightmare the other night. And it sent my whole mood into the toilet. I’m still trying to climb out. Childhood memories plus rape memories. I haven’t had nightmares like this in a long time. It scared me a lot because I haven’t had the bad ones like this in a long time. And for the most part, I’ve been able to short of just shrug them off. Yes they suck, but I don’t tend to let them get to me. The worst part of the other night was they seemed to be constant. I’d wake up from one and fall right back asleep into another one. I felt like I was dreaming all night.
Well, time to feed the kitties. I’m watching Ivory claim the computer time as her own. She’s rubbing her face all over it. Oh well. I must remember that I am nothing more than their servents.
When i lay my head on my pillow at night i wonder what will my mind take me to today. My dreams are always dark and i’m trying to find the light hoping one day that i will be surrounded by it’s warmth and love then i wont be alone. So i wake up in the morning and do yoga and just let it go. I tell myself that the dream will hold no power over my day or life that everyday has the possiblity of being great.