Remembering to Breathe

More shots today.  Including four in my hips and lower back.  It’s really hard for me to lie on my stomach.  I did ask Dr. K to tell me when he was going to actually put the needle in.  That helped a little bit.  I also concentrated on keeping my eyes open.  I realized that the pain was causing me to scrunch up my face and thus close my eyes.  It’s a lot easier to slip into the flashback when your eyes are closed.  I concentrated on my breathing as well.  In retrospect, I was hyperventilating.  Today’s injections weren’t pleasant, and were actually very painful. But I did make it through them.  I managed to stay in the present.  So it was a small victory.

It did, however, take a lot out of me, both physically and mentally.  Thankfully Friday is my day with two classes.  Or would have been.  I ask for the key to upstairs so I can just chill out away from kids for a while and one of the other teachers said “E didn’t tell you have a class with K today?”  Ummm, no, she didn’t.  He’s been out all week recuperating from a car accident.  Fair enough.  So I pull out his class stuff and I wait.  And I wait.  He shows up 25 minutes late.  I was so pissed off I did the bare minimum to get him caught up with the rest of the class.  Actually, it wasn’t that much given the class’ level is so low.  Instead of going forward in the curriculum, they’re going back to review what they probably never learned in the first place.

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