I have two views about children. What I think about me as a child, and what I think about all the other children in the world.
When I think of me as a child (looking back on the past), the only thing I see is what a horrible person I was. I was was clearly at fault for what happened. I can only blame myself. It’s full of shouldas. I should have told someone. I should have fought back. I shouldn’t have hid.
When I think about other children, particularly ones in situations like my own, I see nothing but innocence. How could you blame them? It’s like their lives are out of control and they’re doing the best they can.
I have a hard time reconciling these views. On the surface, it seems so easy. But when I try to tackle it, all those negative thoughts come racing back.