Sometimes I just get into a mood where I HAVE TO CLEAN OR THE WORLD WILL END. Silly? Yes. Rational? No. Understandable? Probably. I think it has a lot to do with still feeling dirty from being raped. Being sexually abused and being raped are like two different things to me. I don’t know how to explain it.
I know this OCD like cleaning thing is part of my PTSD. It’s really hard on my body when I get into one of these moods. I stripped and changed the linens on the bed. Hung up a load of laundry. Put another load in. Swept up the big stuff. Vacuumed the dust and little stuff. Cleaned the litter box (note to self – need more litter). Did the dishes.
I had almost no pain until I started this marathon. Now my whole body aches and my specific trigger points are up to a five. And I’m tired. I feel like I ran 5 marathons. Luckily I wrote my tests for next week this morning. So it isn’t looming over my head. What is looming over my head is the python course I was doing. I did great on lessons 1 and 2. Three just overwhelmed me. I don’t know how much of it is the depression, the fibro fog or the meds (gabapentin makes me head do weird things). I printed the lessons out because I feel like I can focus my attention better on paper than on a computer screen. And then there’s the ever calling sirens of Twitter, Facebook and Wikipedia.
So my plan is to take a hot shower and focus on stretching those muscles that are bothering me. I’m going to take my evening meds and let them work their magic. If there’s something good on TV, I’ll watch it. If not, I throw a few show into a playlist in VLC and watch that.